Qifei (33), Härnösand, escort tjej

Created

I'm just wondering if maybe you're trying to "even the scale" of wrongs you've each done the other. You know, by latching onto this admittedly bad act you can in effect cancel out what you did to him in the relational reservoir of who-did-what-to-whom, and who's-the-better-person. If so that's foolish: forgiveness is either whole and complete or it isn't at all. If your boyfriend has forgiven you for cheating, you have to be big enough to accept that, and live with whatever guilt you feel about hurting him. And now he has something to feel bad about too, and you have to decide if you'll forgive him. The two transgressions aren't related except for the fact that they invovle the two of you. His straying doesn't make yours any less bad, nor does yours make his any less bad. But obviously if you compare the two, your deliberate act was more hurtful than his bad judgement.

Moray

I don't know what happened "last time", they could have f...ought but regardless, the straight up lie warrants an instadump followed by NC, especially if the relationship is only so so or if this isn't the first time she lies to you.

Highlander

So I met a guy at a party two weeks ago and he asked me if I want to go out sometimes. I told him to gimme a text. He texted me two days later and asked me out on a date. I just got out of a cheating relationship, so I was scared.. especially since I met him at a party lol. I told him I was hurt and that was the truth. Me, him and his friend already planned on going hiking the following weekend at the party. So he asked me if I wanted to still do hiking and that I should come. I went and I think I started catching feelings for this guy. I don't know if he still likes me because I don't know if he just asked me out to meet some new people (he said he's trying to get out more). I am scared to say yes to the date because I've been hurt before..and I am scared he's just asking me out for fun or he's just asking me out because he wants to sleep with me.

Browning

How can I walk myself out of this situation? I have never told him what I feel for him because I don't want to make things awkward...

Dirtbird

I'm a 20 year old with a phenomenal great lif.

Sonder

Yea she's one of my favorites

Paralogy

Wait....if the dude cheated on you that's an end call right there. There really is no regaining a solid relationship once someone has cheated. It's degrading, humiliating and it will be in the back of your mind forever. Now if he didn't cheat and I jumped the gun the disregard the last paragraph.

Maarten

dd032.

Cadet

As for why I don't talk about what I do for my gf, it simply is not my place. It the same reason that you will hear me tell anyone I meet that I have an amazing gf, but tell no one that I am an amazing bf.

Clammier

I need my hero, very soo.

Sanford

play ball!

Chaudron

If she actually cooks breakfast for you then put her on the girlfriend watch list!

Elberta

Ok what I bolded above is where I think your insecurity and impatience got the best of you. You could have said the rest of what you said to her and been fine and still shown that you don't want to waste your time and are deserving of an answer. I don't want to drag things out any longer, presumes a bad ending. It's demanding and comes from a negative place and is not confident. The rest of what you said sounds like good communication that comes from a positive, caring place and is your best chance. It also sounds confident and implies that you are assessing the relationship without sounding overly emotional about it nor too invested. You can also do it by matching, as Oregon dude said, the time frame one takes to get back to you. Or match the actions. Or this one is a little game play-y but sometimes I'm not above advising that: when she said she has her independent life, you could have responded: yeah you are right we did kind move things a little fast and I totally get it; there are some things I've been neglecting too. It was just exciting and I got caught up in the moment. The reason that it's game play-y is that is obviously not how you are feeling when you are hearing this for the first time. However, it's really not when you are able to catch your breath, take a step back and realize that if she is dialing down, you want to dial it down too. She is not the only fish in the sea. I mean you said it yourself: that you did not exactly feel as good about her based on her saying/doing this, right? And reasonably, realistic you knows in some ways she is right about this. You will have other options. Operate from a place of abundance and certainty in yourself and your attractiveness. In some ways responding in kind, and specifically like this in this instance provides a reset. It's like a reset button. Basically you are matching her step for step with your/her pace. Now if this is inauthentic to you it's not going to work. But logical, confident you should be able to do this: provide she is holding your interest, no one else comes along and she is not unreasonable with her level of contact. So see why it's important to remain in the moment? Don't jump further ahead than what you are receiving. See when I read her sentence to you, it sounds good and honest. I see it as positive and you are just going too fast for her. Sure it's possible you are just one of several options to her but like you said before, it's open-ended. Think positive from that reply. Your actions and communication will reflect that you see it as such and you will have better results.

Djuka

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